she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
