i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He did a backflip because drugs
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
