is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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