The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
