Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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