Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
