Got a toothbrush?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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