She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
