So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize