the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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