This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
