Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
