Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
