but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
