dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
