If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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