i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
third nipple confirmed
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
