Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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