hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
