I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
