i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
