i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
