My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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