Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
