when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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