ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
