Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
