Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
tell me about the eggs
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
