So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
