just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
