My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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