Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
