Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I will be naked everywhere
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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