I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
