Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
