Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
