I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
