Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize