I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
