He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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