all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
