I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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