I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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