My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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