The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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