I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just forgot I was standing up.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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