i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
