erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I AM VODKA MAN
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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