Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize