its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
