Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
