her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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