I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
