Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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