I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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