He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
