yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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