i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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