i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
