My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
