You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
