The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
