But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize