READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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