You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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