i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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