I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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