How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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