Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize