five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
