They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize