Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm going to jail i love you
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
