just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize