I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
