So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize