Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
