you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
